Jan spills

Mr. Satanism met Jan in the loft apartment she has been living in for the past year, over an abandoned warehouse that hosts the remnants of [city deleted by request]'s rave/dance scene on an almost nightly basis. Jan was apparently ready to join them, judging by her attire, but Mr. S convinced her to don her old costume for this interview.

MR. SATANISM: Thanks for putting on the original outfit- what do you look like without the mask?

JAN: I look pretty much the same.

MS (annoyed): So what happened after the original Space Ghost series ended?

J: Well, at first I made out alright, and we had some sporadic appearances here and there... there was a comic book, some supermarket openings... But by 1971 or so that was all over. The 1981 series saved my ass.

MS: You mean the new Space Ghost show.

J: Right. I remember I had been doing porn, real sick stuff. It was humiliating. Then the phone rings and they're like "We're bringing back Space Ghost, are you interested?" I almost dropped the phone- I was afraid it was a crank or something.

MS: You've made it quite clear that you hate Zan and Jayna, the "Wondertwins". Care to explain?

J: Well, as you know, I was paired with my twin brother on Space Ghost, and we had a pet monkey named "Blip". Jan, Jace, and Blip. So there I was, this was 1976 or so, I'm stripping in these dive bars just to get enough money for groceries- I couldn't strip in any legit places because I'm only sixteen- and I turn on the TV and see these super-powered siblings and their pet monkey: "Zan", "Jayna", and "Gleek". I couldn't believe it!

MS: So you're convinced they stole the concept from you.

J: Come on- do I have to draw you a fucking diagram? It was shameless. I'm positive [the Superfriends] were the inspiration for the revival of Space Ghost though, so at least something good came to us out of it.

MS: So after the second show went under, what happened to everyone?

J: Well, Space Ghost got most the money... Jace and I got a little cash from a comic book in 1987 and some other merchandise, but mostly it all went to him. Now, of course, he has the talk show... The egotistical bastard wouldn't even consider giving us a spot. He hires Brak, hell, a bunch of our old enemies, but Jan and Jace aren't good enough for him!

MS: Where's Jace now? And Blip?

J: Jace works at a White Castle. Blip stays with him. Listen, I feel really uncomfortable in this get-up, mind if I change? The scene downstairs isn't too bad... Can we take a break and finish this later? Do you do "X"?

MS: Kick ass...

At this point both parties seem to leave the room. There is the sound of giggling, a door slamming, and then silence for approximately 30 minutes until the tape ends. The reverse has more giggling, what sounds like Jan and Mr. Satanism singing a sloppy medley of "Glass Tiger" songs directly into the recorder, and several minutes of thumping, moaning and screaming. We will present Part 2 of this interview at a future date.

Back to Jan

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