This Christian book is pretty rambling and nonsensical (big surprise), but there is some hilarious insanity to be had. For example, in one part it says you can get possessed by Satan if you take LSD. (This is a footnote, by the way, because apparently it isn't that important.) That's especially interesting because later on it tells us that resisting Satan is as thrilling as "dope". Does the joker who wrote this even know what "dope" is? If he does, screw him for trying to scare me out of dropping a tab if I want to. Fucking hypocrite.

Here's some other crazy shit this guy says:

• Animals kill each other because of Satan! All those nature shows where animals kill each other for food? Hollywood bullshit.

• Satan controls bugs and weeds. Got crabgrass? Satan! Aphids? Satan!

• Most sick people are just victims of Satan. "Doctors readily admit that most of the cases coming to them have no organic cause." Ask your doctor, I'm sure he'll confirm this.

• Jesus is an "infinite satisfier". Take note, ladies.

• This book works best if you are "childlike". No duh.

I especially liked the part where the writer describes a typical day in the life of a Christian possessed by SATAN:

Okay, really, Jesus never even told me what he needed. Salad in a bag? Mineral water? Maybe a six pack? He should've written it on the board.

Towards the end this book really goes off the rails. That's where it starts talking about fighting the Devil with your very own Anti-Satan Kit! Naturally Anti-Satan Kits were available from the publisher, for only 50 cents (with holder!). Oh my fucking god what I wouldn't give to have one of these. Seriously kids, start digging through your grandparents' shit. If someone out there can find me an honest-to-fuck C. S. Lovett Anti-Satan Kit I'll send you so many free DVDs you'll be able to take on Netflix.

None of this is particularly unusual since people who write books about the Devil are generally deranged, but apparently that's nothing compared to the people who read books about the Devil. Seriously, look at this thing:

There's dog-eared pages, pages paper-clipped together, underlining, notes in three different colors, and even a 3x5 card with additional notes attached! And every page is like this! Whoever did this was obviously completely out of his fucking mind, and I hope the reason his book found its way into my hands is because he's dead now, because there's a name & address stamped inside the front cover and frankly it isn't all that far from where I live. I think it might be time to buy that gun. Of all the crazy notations the previous owner added though, the most amazing/hilarious/disturbing has got to be this:

If you can't read that, it says "a hobby, the Dr's tell me I should have one."

You think?