This book is utterly worthless. It's basically about this monster that's sucking people dry and leaving nothing but the bones, and the parade of absolute fucking dipshits who try to stop it. The main people are:

1) The chink who owns the place where the monster is hiding out. He's such a self-centered prick that he has the whole thing covered up, because heaven forbid anything prevent him from stopping by to lounge around in his fucking jacuzzi. The book acts like he's all cool and mysterious though, and we're supposed to like him.

2) A borderline retard who calls himself "Geode" (goddamn hippie) and can't get it up.

3) A flakey whore who doesn't care about anything except getting boned, even after her kid is brutally eaten by a killer monster. She's so fucking white trash that she's never seen blue toilet water before, but somehow she's like this huge expert on mythology, cell biology, evolution... I guess we're supposed to assume she picked all this stuff up watching Jerry Springer.

4) A fat chick named "April Shauer" who changes her name to "May Flowers" (Jesus fucking Christ...) to hide from her ex-husband. He finds her anyway and rapes her up the ass.

Looks like easy sailing for this monster. Unfortunately, it only manages to take out one of these godforsaken fuckstains, which is too bad because I can't remember the last time I saw a lineup of assheads who so totally deserved to die slow, horrible deaths. The worst thing about this book though is that only like 10% of it is even about the monster. The rest of it is either people falling in love; the trailer trash broad's sex fantasies in disturbing, puke-inducing detail; pointless side stories that go absolutely nowhere and serve no purpose whatsoever except making the book longer and wasting even more of my time; and sex shit that is so completely disturbing and illegal that I'm convinced the guy who wrote this walks around with a constant boner and fucks anything and everything he can catch, including children, animals, inanimate objects, dead things, and/or any combination of the above. I honestly can't believe he's not in jail, especially when I read his notes at the end where he makes it pretty clear that he's all about the five-year-olds. Even if he's kidding he deserves to be locked up, just for writing such an idiotic, boring, shit bucket of a book.