Ah, Erich von Däniken. What a jackass. For real, check out what it says on the back cover of this:

An ego like that should come with a free drink and your choice of two sides. His idiotic UFO books were super popular in - big surprise here - the 1970s, and they all basically used the same approach: E von D would make some bizarre, moronic claim, then act all smug and shit when people were too shocked by his incomprehensible stupidity to argue with him. For example, he says that this ancient tablet thing is a picture of a bomb:

Okay, I see a necktie, a pterodactyl, a bunch of frowny faces, and, in the upper right, a lizard crawling up a ghost's pussy. No bomb though. Never mind that: according to MC E von D, this is proof of UFOs!

Other big von Däniken moves include asking nonsensical questions ("Do the circles indicate the number of space travelers buried inside the pyramid?") but not answering them, just making stuff up (you won't believe all the amazing shit he saw but wasn't allowed to take pictures of), and, my favorite, a little something I like to call "Von Däniken Non Sequitur Logic", where one real fact somehow proves a completely unrelated, made-up fact. On the plus side every page of this is a laugh riot (Cavemen could fly! Moses was packing laser guns!), but on the minus side, unlike most books, I think reading it will actually make you dumber.