Literary Picks for Perverts
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THE WORLD OF MR. SATANISM VS.
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By Ronald Ruskin (1979)
In this book, everyone is catching a disease that makes you go completely, totally, batshit insane. Now that could be the start of a pretty cool story, but I guess the dude who wrote this couldn't figure out what should happen next because almost nothing does and it ends up sucking some serious ass. First of all, the only thing the people with the disease actually do is form like this highly-organized terrorist group and then try to kill anybody who won't join up. Now, correct me if I'm wrong here, but wouldn't people this goddamn crazy generally be pretty disorganized? And come to think of it, once there were more "terrorists" than "normals" wouldn't the normals be the insane ones? Either way, it's moronic. I can just hear the dolt who wrote this now: "You'd have to be crazy to be a terrorist, so all the crazy people become terrorists! I'm a genius!" Also, when your story is supposed to be about rampaging lunatics destroying everything in sight you really need to talk about that as much as possible and cut back on the parts where people are just hanging around doing nothing. First these doctors stand around a hospital arguing and whining for around 75 pages, then later they go to this secret complex where they have meetings, give each other tests, form task forces, and piss & moan even more until finally crazy people overrun the place and kill almost everybody. If you took out all the standing around, complaining, and meetings, this book would probably be like ten pages long; it would still suck, but at least you could get through it in one trip to the bathroom. The absolute dumbest part though is when this one doctor whips out these ridiculously complicated, half-assed cyanide dart guns he built. Wouldn't it have been like a hundred times easier to just go out and buy real guns that actually work? ("I'm gonna give them cyanide dart guns! That's so cool! I'm the greatest writer ever! God, I can't stop cumming!") It's hard to believe that a book about everyone on Earth going nuts could be so fucking boring, but the cat who came up with this must be some sort of anti-genius or something because somehow he pulled it off. I can't imagine what it would be like talking to him in real life. You'd probably lapse into a coma.
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YOU don't have to PUT UP with the HIP.
