Did I ever tell you that I used to live right next door to David Berkowitz? Man, I used to fuck with that dipshit constantly. One time when he was at the shore I stuck a garden hose through his mail slot and let the water run for the entire weekend. It was hilarious. Then there was the time I used an old movie projector and some cardboard cutouts to convince him he was being followed by UFOs. And remember how he said that his neighbor's dog was the one who told him to kill all those people? Looking back, I probably took that last one a bit too far... Anyway, the cat in this book is a lot like Ravin' Dave, except instead of a dog it's Mr. Spock telling him to kill people! That's right, fucking Mr. Spock from Star Trek crawls out of the television set and convinces this guy to serial-kill people and then send videotapes of it to the 6 o'clock news! Eventually he gets bored with that though, so next he busts into the studio and takes the reporter covering the story hostage on live TV! By the end he's hijacked a DC-10, and, I swear to fuck, at one point he actually considers crashing it into the World Trade Center! That alone should make this book a certified collector's item. Bidding for my copy begins at six thousand dollars, plus shipping. Also I expect a generous reward from Homeland Security for exposing author Richard Breen as a terrorist.

Freakshow qualities aside, this book really does rock. It's weird, it's violent, and you can tell the guy who came up with it was already spending the screenplay option money because the way it's written it would make an awesome movie. Back when it first came out there was no way they would show an actual murder on television, but nowadays programs like Most Shocking and World's Deadliest Hysterectomies have no problem showing snuff video of people being hit by trains or getting sucked into jet engines and dying in mutilation, so I think the time is ripe. They should still set it in the 1970s or early 1980s though, so that the reporter the main cat takes hostage can be played by Ron Burgundy. Now that would be entertaining. Especially the part where he gets shot in the face.