
Reading is Fundamentally Stupid
|
|
By Peter Brennan (1981)
Jaws is about three dudes - a smart guy, an emotional guy, and a tough guy - who kill a big shark that's been eating the shit out of everybody. It doesn't matter whether you read the book or watch the movie, even though there's some differences (the main guy's wife in the book is a total whore for example) it's basically the same story. Well, if you like the movie Razorback (which is sort of like Jaws) and decide to read the book - or verse-vica - you're in for an unpleasant surprise, because the movie Razorback is about a giant killer pig destroying and eating everything in sight, but the book Razorback is about a bunch of conspiracies and a crooked cop and diamond smugglers and the mob, with a couple of side trips to Hong Kong and Hawaii, and the pig only shows up at the very end to polish off the one bad guy who didn't get punished by more conventional means. Now, if calling this novel "Razorback" was symbolic or something I could let it slide, but there really is a giant razorback, it just doesn't do anything. How you can write a book about a man-eating pig the size of a Yugo and have it be the least important thing in the story is beyond me. Hell, there's this old rummy who only says four sentences in 378 pages and even he's ten times more important to the story than the pig. This book isn't exactly bad, but here's how I look at it: if I ordered a BLT and it came without bacon, I'd be super pissed, even if the lettuce and the tomato were the best goddamned lettuce and tomato I'd even eaten in my entire life. Damn you Peter Brennan, where's my bacon?
|
| All original material on this site Copyright 1995-2011 Inept Concepts/Mr. Satanism. All rights reserved. Other materials posted for referential purposes meet fair usage requirements and are copyrighted by their respective owners; their use here does not constitute a challenge of said copyright. By moving your lips while you read this, you waived me of all legal responsibilities into perpetuity. Please do not copy original text or images, in whole or in part, without written permission. My lawyer thinks like Darrow and dresses like McBeal, so she will win. Now buy some merchandise. This site doesn't pay for itself, you know. | |
YOU don't have to PUT UP with the HIP.