Check out this poster for the movie Star Trek V :

Give me a fucking break. You know what they should've installed in theaters for Star Trek 5 ? Barf bags, mainly for the part where 100-year-old Uhura does a strip tease. That's not the only thing wrong with Star Trek 5, of course. The main problem is that there's too many awful jokes. Humorosity in Star Trek is supposed to revolve around the three main guys arguing. It usually goes something like this:

Dr. Bones: "Spock, you green-blooded cocksucker!"
Mr. Spock: "It would be highly logical, Doctor, for you to kiss my fucking ass."
Captain Kirk: "Double dumbass on you!"

Star Trek 5 barely has any of that. Instead, we get a guy bumping his head and a goddamned fart joke. What's next? Does Bones trick Spock into drinking ipecac at the big frat party? And the plot isn't much better: basically, it all hinges on half a dozen dudes, packing guns they made in someone's garage, somehow taking over the entire Enterprise. You know, on second thought I can buy that. Didn't hippies take over the Enterprise once? Irregardless, it's still a dumb idea, and don't even get me started on the boring, lazy ending. Since William Shatner wrote and directed this movie everyone blamed him for how bad it turned out, even though they changed his script, forced him to add the stupid gags, nixed his ending, and took away a bunch of his money just before he started making it. Talk about a hose job.

So now we come to the "novelization". The novelization is based on William Shatner's original story, and it is fucking awesome. Ha ha! I'm totally lying. Actually it's pretty much the same as the movie, fart jokes and all. Star Trek 5 sucks.