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Strangely Enough!

By C. B. Colby

(1959)

This book is "abridged", which means they took stuff out to make it shorter. That seems like a pinheaded thing to do, but in this case it's a blessing. Apparently this C. B. Colby joker had his own newspaper column at one point; I never read it, but that's okay since if this book is any indication it contained NO INFORMATION WHATSOEVER. Seriously, here's an example of one of the "true" stories in this book:

Late one warm, July afternoon, a Pennsylvania farmer was working outdoors when he suddenly heard a loud whistling sound from overhead. Then something huge crashed into the ground a short distance away and smashed into a shower of broken pieces. When he could collect his wits, he hastened to the spot and found that an area about 60 feet in diameter was covered with what looked like shattered ice.

Now, this "true story" is about gigantic pieces of ice falling out of the sky for no reason, which is weird and kind of hard to believe, so I think that the person telling it should have like the burden of proof or whatever. But look at all the shit he leaves out:

Who was this farmer cat? What was his name?
Where, exactly, did this go down? "Pennsylvania" is kind of a big place.
When did this happen? I know it says "July", but he doesn't even tell us the year!

Later he says:

They had a chemist study the fragments and check for radioactivity.

What chemist? Where? And why the fuck was he (or she) checking ice for radioactivity? Who said anything about radioactivity? That's exactly the kind of bullshit misdirect you pull when you're trying to make something sound way more mysterious than it actually is. I could have the girl I banged last night checked for radioactivity too, but that doesn't make her an alien or something. She's still just some drunk tramp who gives lousy head. The truly pathetic part is that almost every story in the book is like this- there's hardly ever any names or dates or proof or anything. You know what I think? I think this C. B. Colby asshole just made it all up. In fact, the "C. B." probably stands for "Complete Bullshit". The icing on the cake comes later though, when he's talking about this "weird" plane crash:

There were no survivors, living or dead, in spite of the evidence that the plane had been carrying men when it crashed.

Ah ha ha ha ha ha ha! What a chariot-driven fucktard. Screw this douchebag, and his book of lies.



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