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Ambrose A.
Abernathy's
Colorist "Roy G. Biv"? Somebody didn't want to put their name on this, and once you read it you'll see why. It all starts when this old coot invents an "adventure machine":
Since it's a mechanical doohickey and it's still in one piece you kind of have to wonder what, exactly, just exploded, but there's no time for logic now because the adventure is already beginning:
Okay, that officially puts the number of Marvel Comics villains who use flying bicycles at two, which by my count is at least three too many. For the record, the other one is this cat, who calls himself "Turner D. Century", just to piss me off, I assume:
The dude in this story is no relation though:
Ed Grimley? Actually this comic is a lot better if you imagine him as the bad guy:
Anyway, the scientist and his friends decide to take the machine to some exposition, but the bad guy hounds them every step of the way: he lets a lion loose that just happens to find its way into their lab, and later when the good guys are on a train he blows up a bridge they're about to cross. In the end though, it's the old "drop a hook from a flying bicycle" tactic that does the trick:
Will you never learn, Ambrose A. Abernathy? You Asshole. The bad guy manages to get the machine to the expo and take all the credit, but it doesn't even work so it turns out the joke's on him:
Two dollars, huh? Hmm, that's exactly the same as the price of this comic book:
So, once again, it looks like the joke's actually on us. Fuck you, Marvel Comics. Fuck you and die.
Yes, I'm sure it will be a very exciting. A very exciting indeed.
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