Seduction of the Idiot 


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Don't You Fuck with Science

People who actually believe that old comic books are worth a lot of money are idiots. Seriously, look at this eBay auction:

Ah ha ha ha ha ha ha! Are you kidding me? I bought this exact same comic yesterday for $2.99. With free shipping. The sad part is that the dipshit selling this ("flamingowarehouse") probably isn't even trying to rip anyone off. He just really is that stupid.

The only comics that are worth any real cheddar are the ones from before the 1960s, because back then people had better things to do so nobody thought to save them and now there aren't that many left. For example:

This comic runs like $400. Is it worth it? Normally you wouldn't find out here because there's no way I'm coughing up that kind of bread for a comic book, or even to get my daughter back from kidnappers, frankly. But we're in luck, because Doc Weird's Thrill Book actually reprinted a Captain Science story in the 1980s, and that version only costs a couple of bucks (or 800 dollars in flamingowarehouse money). Let's check it out.

The science begins when this guy casts a spell that makes all these ragheads appear and kill some other ragheads:

It's not long before word of this gets back to Captain Science, and he springs into action:

"And while you're at it, Luana, why don't you clean up around here and have some babies?"

Captain Science and a small child (no relation, apparently, since he calls Captain Science "Gordon") hop in their flying saucer and fly to A-rab land, but they're immediately captured by the evil ragheads and locked in the dungeon. Fortunately, Captain Science has a plan:

That's using, er, science.

Naturally a big fight breaks out, but thanks to incompetence at the middle-management level, it's not looking good for Captain Science:

Okay, so his sidekick forgot to bring everything they need to save the day, but
neither of them noticed until now? What kind of Captain Science is this guy?

Fortunately it turns out that the evil ragheads are just an illusion, so Captain Science makes them disappear by ignoring them (it's sort of the same principle he used with Luana earlier). Then he "accidentally" kills the guy who started all this trouble and the world is saved. Using absolutely no science whatsoever.

"Just deserts". What are the odds this is supposed to double as a bad pun?

Christ. At least now I know why people threw most of these old comics away.



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