Marvel Comics is famous for coming up with super-popular characters like Spider-Man, the Fantastic Four, and the X-Men, but they did all that in the 1960s and by the time the 1970s rolled around they were fresh out of ideas. Actually, that's completely false- they were just out of good ideas. That didn't stop them of course, but the best you can say about most of the shit they came up with in the '70s is that it's "inexpensive to collect". Seriously, if they ever base a movie or TV show on one of these chumps, I'll fuck your wife:

This starts with Modred the Mystic standing in the middle of the street sounding off until the cops come, at which point he escapes in a VW Microbus. (Duh. Also: Fucking hippie.) Then this other guy has a flashback to the last issue that's so fucking long that there's no reason to buy it if you haven't already, and finally Modred wraps things up by standing in the woods arguing with someone only he can hear and then blowing the shit out of everything. Obviously not a whole lot happens (and what does doesn't make much sense), but it's still more interesting than any given issue of Dr. Strange, and in all honesty I would probably read a new Modred comic if Marvel Comics ever made one. At one point though they turned him into a retard and left him in the care of "Bova the cow-woman", so frankly I don't think they take him very seriously.

"...but what do I care? I'm a fucking cow."

According to his "origin", Omega the Unknown is "the lone survivor of an alien world, garbed utterly inappropriately in garish blue-and-red." So... he's Superman. Well, not quite. Even blind, drunk, and with a bucket of Kryptonite shoved up his ass I'm pretty sure Superman could handle "El Gato", whose main superpower is owning a bunch of cats:

What an asshole. Lucky for him there was a decrepit old man with a hose on hand to save the day. Do us all a favor Omega and stay unknown.

"The wildest super-hero ever--because he's real!" By which they mean totally fake. Ha ha! Actually, there really was a stunt guy called "The Human Fly"; the problem is that he was Canadian, and this comic book came out in the United States where no one ever heard of him. (Actually I doubt anyone in Canada ever heard of this dipshit either, but I'm willing to give him the benefit of the doubt.) Most of his adventures involved rocket sleds, motorcycles, blimps, hang gliders... you know, typical 1970s crap. Frankly I'm surprised there wasn't an issue devoted entirely to pet rocks and disco dancing, although I haven't read all of them so maybe there was. At any rate, no one was impressed with this idiot, and I do mean NO ONE:

Wow. You know you're a shitty superhero when people make fun of you while you're saving their lives. I'd say "don't quit your day job", but apparently being the Human Fly is his day job. What a complete loser.

Dumb Fact: There was also an evil Human Fly in the 1970s, who actually had wings and everything. He was invented to fight Spider-Man, which is sort of like sending a field mouse to fight El Gato, but whatever. This Human Fly was a running joke for years and eventually started eating poop, but he was finally saved from further embarrassment when some random guy shot him. I swear I'm not making any of this up. The evil Human Fly's secret identity was "Richard Deacon". Get it? "D-Con"? Fuck you, Marvel Comics.