Machine Man started out as a moronic comic with lousy art, but fortunately for comic book fans everywhere it got cancelled when the guy who came up with it quit to work on the "Herbie the Robot" version of the Fantastic Four. After some retooling though they brought the damn thing back... as an equally moronic comic with even worse art. Who says this isn't the Marvel Age of Sucking Shit? It would take a computer as sophisticated as Machine Man is supposed to be to catalogue every instance of mind-numbing stupidity in this book, so I'll just hit the highlights. Like this bit, where he uses his super magnetic hand to rip a bullet right out of some schmuck's chest:

Afterwards Machine Man gets distracted by fighting, which is too bad because that guy probably could've used some additional medical attention. For example, maybe Machine Man could've stopped the bleeding by setting him on fire.

One story was so fucking phoned-in that the bozo writing it completely forgot that Machine Man was even supposed to be a robot. Here he is getting drunk, then waking up the next day with a hangover:

Science wasn't this comic's strong suit either:

Or explode. They're not synonyms, you goddamned idiots.

Of course, some people don't even care about the stories in comic books, they just buy them to look at the terrific art. Let's check it out:

And don't even get me started on the fact that sometimes Machine Man can fly and sometimes he can't, or the way everyone talks like they're inventing their own slang on the spot ("Gentle down, sucker."; "Grow roots... or get planted!"; "That yo-yo's about to pull my string!"). The sad part is that Machine Man himself is kinda cool-looking and this could've been an okay comic if they had hired a writer who wasn't completely baked or an artist who could draw tables. They didn't though, so... well, I guess we all know what that means...

That's right, it's pineapple time again! You stupid honkies.