|
|
The World of Mr. Satanism YOU don't have to PUT UP with the HIP. |
| Home | |
|
Mr. Satanism Comic Books Mr. Satanism Online Other Online Features Off-Site Contact Us
|
The first "Doom Patrol" was so weak and lame that not only did they get cancelled, but the whole fucking lot of 'em got blown up to death in their last issue! Seriously, when a comic sucks so hard that the only way to get rid of the stench is to kill every single superhero in it that's saying a lot. Well, a while later the X-Men got super popular, and since they had a guy in a wheelchair running the show and the Doom Patrol also had a guy in a wheelchair running the show some genius figured that they should bring the Doom Patrol back:
You gotta admit that that cover is pretty badass: we've got the open grave; the superheroes in the background looking all hard and pissed off; a cool robot holding a goony-looking, dead robot... Plus I could be in the Superman movie! Sweet- maybe I can play some stinkfinger with Ursa. The story starts with an epilogue (that just goes to show how fucking stupid comic book writers really are) where we get to see Doom Patrol 1.0 die again. It turns out Robotman survived though, and when he goes back to their old pad there's a new Doom Patrol squatting there made up of two hot white chicks and a brother who is truly living the dream. Of course Robotman attacks them, but suddenly this old coot crashes the party and captures everybody. Holy shit- is the Doom Patrol fucked?
Damn, look at the rack on that bitch. Anyway, the old guy who snatched the Doom Patrol wants to scan the one chick's brain because she knows the secret of eternal youth or something. The Doom Patrol kicks his ass and escapes, but when they finally get back home there's a secret agent waiting for them- and he has a handgun! What will the Doom Patrol do now??? My guess: Robotman punches his head off and they all take a nap.
"The End of the Doom Patrol!" Damn, that didn't take long. That's right- the New Doom Patrol was so popular that they were sent packing after three issues and replaced by a chick with gigantic tits:
Frankly though I didn't think they were all that bad. I mean, the first Doom Patrol was basically a crip, a hot chick, a dude in bandages, and a dumb-looking robot, so changing that to a black dude, two hot chicks, and a cool-looking robot was definitely a step up. Maybe nobody took 'em seriously because of the bad guys they fought; I mean, their biggest enemies were a senior citizen and a regular guy with a gun. I've seen Richie Rich handle worse than that.
Back to Seduction of the Idiot
|
| All original material on this site Copyright 1995-2008 Inept Concepts/Mr. Satanism. All rights reserved. Other materials posted for archival or referential purposes are copyrighted by their respective owners; their use here does not constitute a challenge of said copyright. By moving your lips while you read this, you waived me of all legal responsibilities into perpetuity. Please do not copy original text or images, in whole or in part, without written permission. My lawyer thinks like Darrow and dresses like McBeal, so she will win. Now buy some merchandise, you little bitch. | |
