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13th Child

(2002)

Like the "Jersey Devil"... give me a fucking break. What the hell is there to haunt in New Jersey? A parking lot? I swear, people from New Jersey will do anything to try to seem cool, but this is pretty fucking pathetic, even for them. I mean seriously, this is what the "Jersey Devil" is supposed to look like:

Duh. Nice try, New Jersey, but frankly that's stupider than any other "real" monster I can think of, and that includes "The Mad Gasser of Mattoon" and phantom kangaroos. Anyway, in this flick this irritating but homely chick goes looking for the Jersey Devil, which doesn't seem like too good of an idea since it's apparently killing the absolute fuck out of everybody. After a bunch of boring investigations she finds out the Jersey Devil is a mix between a goat, a bat, a reptile, a spider, and a person. I guess in theory that could be kind of cool (although frankly I think they should've thrown "jaguar" and "platypus" in there too), but when we finally see the thing it looks more like a cross between Bigfoot and D.Compose from the Inhumanoids. This flick's mostly pretty boring, but at least when something does happen it's fairly gory, plus there's one decent pair of tits.