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30 Days of Night

(2007)

This has to be one of the dumbest movies I've seen in... well, it's me so like three or four days, but still, it's pretty fucking dumb. Basically there's this town in Alaska where it's dark for 30 days straight, so a bunch of vampires roll in and start killing everybody. Okay, first question: why the hell don't the people just get in their trucks and leave? Are you trying to tell us that they can't drive anywhere because it's night? What, do they all have some special eco-friendly solar-powered hippie cars that don't work in the dark or something? And do they really expect us to believe that one guy snuck into everybody's house and stole all their cell phones? Give me a fucking break. There is one cool part where this cat drives a trenching machine down the middle of the street and just annihilates a shitload of vampires, but instead of driving in circles until he gets them all he crashes into a building on purpose! What the fuck? And I'm not buying the idea that the main humans were able to hide out for a whole month without the vampires catching on. For real, if the vampires knew that some people were still creeping around why didn't they just tear down every fucking building in town until they found them? And if they didn't know why were they still hanging around? I guess the assclowns who came up with this flick figured the main idea was just so awesome that logic be fucked they were gonna make a movie out of it even if it didn't make any goddamned sense. And they did.