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Return of the Living Dead:
Rave to the Grave

(2005)

The only reason this got made is because the guy who came up with it couldn't kick every single person who liked the other Return of the Living Dead flicks in the balls individually. The stupidest possible thing that this movie could be about is a bunch of fucking ravers taking the zombie chemical to get high and then turning into zombies, so of course that's exactly what happens. (And naturally they all shake their heads around at super speed while they're getting high. Why do moviemakers have such a raging hard-on for that effect? It looks totally fake and gay.) The hero is the same guy from Return of the Living Dead Part 4, but I guess his memory isn't too good because he doesn't even notice when zombies start showing up again in broad daylight. Later when the zombies really start rampaging it's just full-on retarded: a guy knocks one zombie's head off with a guitar (duh), and of course there's a part where some morons think all the zombies are just people in costumes, just like in every lame-ass monster movie that takes place on Halloween ever made. On the plus side a chick gets a bite taken right out of her ass, zombies attack some hippies in a car so these other dudes eliminate both problems by blowing the car up with a rocket launcher, and there's some nice tits. Don't let all that fool you, though- this movie still sucks a landfill worth of shit.

By the way, here's a newsflash: if you look at the calendar and it says 2005, it might be a little late to make a movie about rave, grandpa. Before you make any more movies, try reading a magazine or something so you have at least some idea of what the fuck's going on.