Accepted

What the fuck happened to college comedies? They used to be full of property destruction, drinking, vomiting, shenanigans, and tits, but these days they're almost all completely weak. This one's about a bunch of drips who can't get into a real college, so they rent an old insane asylum and make a fake one. There's some shenanigans and destruction (jumping a motorbike into a swimming pool, throwing a TV out a window, explosions), but not one single person vomits and worst of all there's no tits, and when you see the licktacular little redhead who's one of the main kids you'll understand what a serious fuckup that is. They manage to work in everything lame about college comedies though: the dean of this real college wants to shut them down, and he has a typical douchebag frat guy (defined as any frat guy) helping him, so even though this movie is about a fake fucking college they still find a way to have an evil dean and an evil frat! Duh. And it all ends with a trial, which is one of the big cop-outs flicks always use when they can't think of an ending. That's so fucking lame. Here's a list of endings that would have been way better:

The school gets shut down, but everyone learns a valuable lesson. And goes to jail.
Everybody dies (this is always a good ending).
The redhead can't take the suspense anymore, so she strips.
At the last minute, a heroic dog saves the day.
The Huntingtons play like an impromptu concert, and the school explodes.
It turns out the redhead was a ghost the whole time, so she strips.
The fat kid becomes the Starchild.
Scavenger hunt!
James Bond rides in dressed as the King of England and orders the redhead to strip.
"Mr. Rusk, you're not wearing your tie."
The redhead gets shot, and, with her dying breath, she strips.
At the suggestion of Rodney Dangerfield, everybody takes a shower.

Someone needs to hire me as one of those "script doctor" guys. I'll whip everything into shape.

Certified licktacular

All original material on this site Copyright 1995-2010 Inept Concepts/Mr. Satanism. All rights reserved. Other materials posted for archival or referential purposes are copyrighted by their respective owners; their use here does not constitute a challenge of said copyright. By moving your lips while you read this, you waived me of all legal responsibilities into perpetuity. Please do not copy original text or images, in whole or in part, without written permission. My lawyer thinks like Darrow and dresses like McBeal, so she will win. Now buy some merchandise, you little bitch.