THE WORLD OF
MR. SATANISM

Home

Mr. Satanism Bibliography

TWoMS Online Comic Books

TWoMS Online Comic Strips

Reviews of TWoMS

Buy Mr. Satanism Comics

Mr. Satanism on MySpace

MR. SATANISM VS.
POPULAR CULTURE

Video Picks for Perverts

Literary Picks for Perverts

Seduction of the Idiot

The 500 Coolest Chicks Ever

The Shrine to Jayna

The Jan Appreciation Page

Billy Corvair

The Adventures of Superboy

(1961)

I guess this was supposed to be a TV series, but they never ended up showing it on TV and after you watch this tape you'll see why. It starts with these high school kids giving these presentations about what their parents do for a living (talk about a cake curriculum- must be a public school). This one kid is super embarrassed by the project though because his Dad's job is being an alcoholic pedophile. Ha ha! No, actually he works at the movie theatre, but for some reason the kid thinks this is really humiliating. His dad works his ass off and all this kid can do is piss & moan- fuckin' ingrate. Later at home, the kid admits to his dad that he thinks he's a fucking loser, but dad gives him this big speech and the little bastard finally realizes his dad is a good guy after all. The end.

Oh, wait, wait- that's not the end at all. Superboy still has to show up. It's later on, and these dudes want to steal all these diamonds that are in this case in front of the movie theater (duh).  They figure it won't be easy with Superboy around, so they have a plan (a better plan would be to commit crimes in a town where Superboy isn't, but whatever). Their plan is to have one dude commit some minor crime across town and be like this diversion, and when Superboy is busy the other guys can take care of business. The other crooks tell him that he might go to jail for a few weeks or whatever, but it'll totally be worth it for his share of the diamonds. So what's the diversion? He shoots at a cop with a rifle! Attempted murder of a police officer! Ha ha ha ha ha! What a fucking moron! Seriously, cops hate that.

The cop calls Superboy on his radio, which makes the lamp in Clark Kent's living room flicker so he knows there's trouble. I'm not sure what would happen if someone needed help and Clark Kent was anywhere else in the world except his living room, but I guess nobody thought of that. Anyway, Superboy flies over and catches the bad guy. Meanwhile, the other cats get the diamonds and escape. Superboy finally catches on, but when he gets to the movie theater everyone says they "didn't see anything", "but the car's license plate was..." Make up your minds, idiots. Superboy could check out every license plate in the state in like five minutes, but I guess he's feeling lazy because he gives up after only checking one. Fucking slacker.

Back at the police station Superboy pulls that "making diamonds" trick to cover up the crime, but it's sort of creepy because it seriously looks like he's just jerking off at super-speed. Then they use the ingrate kid's dad as bait to try catch the crooks. That seems pretty irresponsible since Superboy is bulletproof and the dad probably isn't, but this Superboy is as much of a lazy fuckoff as the one in Smallville is a goddamned whining pussy, so I guess I'm not surprised. Anyway, the plan works, they get the crooks, and everybody lives happily ever after. It's pretty gay, but the horror isn't over yet, because this tape has a bonus:

THE ADVENTURES OF SUPERPUP (1958)

It's Superman, but with midgets dressed as dogs. The jokes are stuff like tricking a cop with a sign that says "They Went That Way" and people falling down. This came out in like the 1950s, and it's pretty fucking sad that they expected the people who went overseas and saved the world from Pearl Harbor and Hitler's Brain to come home and watch garbage like this. It sucks some serious shit, and usually I like anything with midgets.