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Alien 2

(1980)

Some drips find a big blue rock on the ground, so they decide to take it with them when they go caving. Why not, right? You never know when you might need a random rock when you're in a fucking cave. I wonder what they left behind to make room for the rock? Water? The map? What a bunch of morons. It gets worse though, because the rock is really an egg and later an alien bursts out of it, wastes this hottie, and proceeds to start handing everybody their pathetic, carbon-based asses. The gory parts in this flick are pretty damn gory - it pops one guy's head off while he's hanging upside down, and another guy's head explodes - but it really needed more of them; they obviously had plenty of fake blood, so why hold back? Plus the two cute chicks buy the farm way too early, and frankly the monsters look less like aliens and more like giant tongues. And what's with the guy telling this other chick that the monster killed her friend instead of her because she has a "stronger mind"? Is that how he macks on girls, by telling them that their friend got killed by an alien because she was stupid? What a cock. The worst part though is the end: it looks like they filmed it through a hole in some meat. It's like watching a movie from inside a chick's pussy. Too bad they screwed so much stuff up- with a little more gore & tits and a little less PussyVision this could've been a contender.

 

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