Video Picks for Perverts
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THE WORLD OF MR. SATANISM VS.
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(2005)
These four astronauts (one of them is Bruce Campbell) come back to Earth after being in space for like 40 years, but things are pretty shitty because these alien termites have taken over the planet to steal all our wood. The bugs mostly have human slavers do their dirty work, though, because out-of-work actors forced to choose between this and a deodorant commercial are cheaper to film then special effects. The slavers catch the astronauts, shoot the only cute one (she kinda deserved it though because she wouldn't stop bitching), feed the token black guy to a bug (it bites his whole head off, which was sorta cool), and put the rest to work at a "sawmill". Well, they called it a sawmill, but all the people did was load two-by-fours onto these carts all day- it looked more like they were looting an 84 Lumber. Anyway, the two astronauts left kill an alien* and Bruce Campbell gets away and ends up at this village full of other humans who escaped (it's only like a mile from where the aliens are, but I guess the bugs are just too lazy to walk all that way to raid it). Unfortunately, it turns out the villagers are a bunch of hippies and won't fight. Eventually Bruce Campbell gets everybody motivated though and they defeat the aliens with arrows, despite the fact that the aliens have laser guns, tanks with guided missiles, and, I assume, spaceships. The Sci-Fi Channel makes a lot of crappy movies, and it especially sucks because they never put any nudity or super gory shit in them, but this might be the dumbest one I've seen yet. Usually if Bruce Campbell is around he gets to say some funny shit, but this time I guess he forgot, plus the chick he falls in love with after fucking her one time (pussy) is a total dog. I guess I can add him to the list of things (like the Misfits) that used to be totally awesome, but now are just fucking weak. * I figured the aliens must be pretty badass, since it seemed like it only took about 6 of them to take over most of Oregon and everybody said that they had never, ever seen a person kill one before, but this one died just because Bruce Campbell stabbed it with a drill bit! That wouldn't kill a person, or even most pets.
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YOU don't have to PUT UP with the HIP.
