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American Splendor

(2003)

In case you never heard of it, American Splendor is a comic book about this dude named Harvey. He's like an actual person, and the comic book is basically about his real-life adventures. The problem is that he's boring, he's ugly, he's stupid, he's kind of a dick, and his "adventures" are stuff like walking home from work or buying groceries. So why am I supposed to give a shit about this joker? I'm not fucking kidding here- pick any random person you know, and even if they're in a coma they'd be more interesting to watch than this guy. His biggest victory in the whole movie is ending up married to an annoying, ugly chick, and while that's probably the best most of the people reading this review have to look forward to I guarantee your story is least ten times more interesting. I guess one good thing about this loser is that you could go to a costume party dressed as your schlub self and claim you're the guy from American Splendor, but that's still no reason to watch his moronic, pointless movie.