Video Picks for Perverts
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THE WORLD OF MR. SATANISM VS.
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(1987)
For some reason everyone in the 1980s was afraid that Russia was gonna invade the United States. Or maybe they actually did, I don't remember. Anyway, this show is about what happens when Russia takes over; unfortunately, five minutes in it's already boring as fuck, and it's over nine hours long! It just goes on and on and on and on and on and on and on and on, sucking boatloads of ass every miserable fucking second. Plus I don't see what the big deal is because frankly America run by the Russians doesn't seem all that much different than America run by George Bush Jr. The story's mainly about this mediocre country singer who the Russians put in jail for making some speeches or something. The Ruskies finally let him out and try to get him to make a pro-commie speech, but instead he just stands there basking in his own self-satisfaction which for some reason causes the whole crowd to sing that one song about America*. I guess this part is supposed to make people run out into the street cheering and waving the American flag and shooting Mexicans or something, but it's like totally trite and completely fucking embarrassing. Later this same guy goes on the lam because they won't let him see his kids (He's doin' it for the shorties!), but his own son finks him out and he gets captured. They try to get him to make a pro-commie speech again, so this time he just stands there yelling "America!" until they drag him off. Okay, seriously, is anything else gonna happen in this stupid program? Finally after like eight and a half fucking hours the main guy makes his big move: he rounds up this huge mob, leads them to the Russian prison camp... and surrenders! Ah ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha! Why am I not surprised? Expecting something interesting to happen in this show is like expecting a brick wall to cure cancer. There is a battle at the very end, but it's totally not worth sitting through the rest of this lame, weak, boring crap to get to it. When this first came out the idiots who made it acted like it was the most important thing to happen since Lincoln threw a wooden nickel across the Potomac and proved the Earth was round, but it was so pathetic that most people were pissed that they didn't watch The Facts of Life Down Under instead and a few months later Russia had a big fire in one of their warehouses or something and went out of business anyway so needless to say it all turned out to be a colossal waste of time. What a fucking joke. It truly, utterly, epically, biblically sucks. * No, not "America, Fuck Yeah". That would've been hilarious though.
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YOU don't have to PUT UP with the HIP.
