Video Picks for Perverts
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THE WORLD OF MR. SATANISM VS.
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(2002)
Whenever you hear the words "erotic thriller" you know you're in for a world of suck. These movies are always exactly the same: some goon is murdering hookers, strippers, and/or teenage runaways; the cops have to investigate by going to every strip club in town; there's tons of tits; and somehow it's always unbelievably weak anyway. This one was even more ridiculous than usual, but for once that actually made it better. Like for example, in addition to hookers the killer in this movie goes after has-beens, like the Beastmaster, Bull from Night Court, and (the ugly) Lois Lane. Where's your Superman now, Lois, you hag bitch? The places the cops go to investigate are completely hilarious (like a topless hotel), most of the chicks are pretty hot (the one the main cop bangs would melt your dick off), and just to spice things up they show all these people having an orgy every few minutes even though that doesn't have anything to do with the story. It's actually a pretty good flick, but if they want to make the ultimate erotic thriller they need to take things even further. Like, have a killer who only goes after hot chicks who wear schoolgirl uniforms. The cops think they have everything under control, but then Angelina Jolie announces that she's having this huge Catholic schoolgirl costume party for charity so the cops have to race against time to catch the killer before the party starts. They investigate every club with a schoolgirl theme, every private school, and every all-girl Asian pop band in town but the killer is always one step ahead of them until the big night when he crashes the party and starts slashing his way through all these hot third-rate celebrities in plaid skirts and knee-high socks. Man, that movie would be awesome.
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YOU don't have to PUT UP with the HIP.
