Video Picks for Perverts
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THE WORLD OF MR. SATANISM VS.
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(1981)
This movie was so fucking stupid and boring it made me want to punch one of Jerry's Kids. The first part is cool: this little girl goes by some woods and suddenly she gets sucked into them and it's totally freaky (it's fucking hilarious when you watch it in slow motion to see how they did it, though). But then we forget all about that and go to this house where the Equalizer lives. His daughter is this little bitch who always gets her way, and she has this power I guess she got from the woods and uses it to waste people who piss her off. It ends up sucking for the Equalizer, because she wants him to go to her gay school concert or something and he can't do it, so she uses the power to make this semi truck with a dog painted on the side cause him to have a car wreck (I guess this is supposed to be all creepy and shit because he had these dreams about dogs, but that's a pretty lame connection and it's a fucking stupid idea). The car crash is probably the best thing about the movie- I was laughing my ass off! It's seriously the longest car crash ever in a movie- it takes like twenty minutes for the car to crash and it spins out about a hundred times. Then it stands up on the front bumper and hangs on the edge of this cliff for, like, a year, before it falls over. The Equalizer could have gotten out of the car, walked home, watched some TV, had a nap, and walked back in the time it took this car to fall over. If the jackasses who made this movie made a sequel to The Cannonball Run, it would be probably be six years long and five years of that would be Burt Reynolds crashing one car into a Dairy Queen.
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YOU don't have to PUT UP with the HIP.
