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Audrey Rose

(1977)

This starts with a pretty hilarious car crash ("Aaaaaaaaaa!" Swerve, you dumb bitch.), and years later it turns out this little girl who died in the crash is reincarnated as another kid. The idiots who made this flick probably thought that was a pretty freaky idea, but here's the problem: all kinds of scary shit could happen to someone who's a werewolf or being haunted by ghosts or something, but what's the worst thing that could happen to someone who finds out they've been reincarnated? They forget where they parked? They try to make it interesting by having some low-grade Exorcist shit go down, but sorry, no sale. And would somebody please shut that fucking kid up? I've never heard so much damn yelling- it's like living next door to Italians. In the end they put reincarnation on trial (Ah ha ha ha ha ha ha! Duh.), and the judge lets this one lawyer (it's Higgins!) bring in a hypnotist to put the kid under so she can talk about her "past life", just like a bored housewife who thinks she used to be Cleopatra or something. Things don't go exactly as planned though, and the kid dies! Ah ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha!!! Man, I'd be suing everybody. What a stupid movie.


 

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YOU don't have to PUT UP with the HIP.