Video Picks for Perverts
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THE WORLD OF MR. SATANISM VS.
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(2004)
So what do you get when you combine Alien, Predator, Cube, and Stargate? A big pile of shit. Seriously, nerds have been begging for an "Alien vs. Predator" movie since the fucking 1980s and this is the best that they can come up with? The whole thing is ridiculous. First of all, it happens in Antarctica in some goddamned Scooby-Doo temple with moving floors and secret walls and shit, which is completely lame. Can you imagine how much more awesome it would have been if these mothers threw down at, say, West Edmonton Mall? Hell, that's in Canada which is almost as cold as Antarctica so they wouldn't have even had to change the beginning all that much. Then there's the fact that it's PG-13. Everybody got super pissed off about that because it means it isn't very gory, but I'm more pissed off because it means we never get to see this chick naked:
I think you can technically show tits in a PG-13 movie, (like if they're really small or something), but when a chick looks like this I don't want them stopping there: I want masturbation, I want full-frontal, and I wanna see her banging everything in sight, Aliens and Predators included. Instead, they ice her and have one of the Predators become a different chick's friend. "My Pet Predator". Gay. And while I'm on a roll here, I am totally sick of movies making up their own stupid abbreviations for their names (ID4, MIB, AVP, etc.). Nobody calls them that and you sound like a bunch of tools. This movie managed to blow it on like every conceivable level. FU, AVP.
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YOU don't have to PUT UP with the HIP.
