Video Picks for Perverts
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THE WORLD OF MR. SATANISM VS.
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(1998)
Okay, when a movie uses like the first fifteen minutes to let us know that the garage door doesn't work right, a doorbell doesn't work at all, the wrong addresses are on a couple of mailboxes, and there aren't any neighbors so "if you needed help you could scream forever and no one would hear you" you know two things: 1) the main chick is fucked So, this guy's wife isn't too shabby, but she's kind of obnoxious so he starts getting a little on the side from their cute nanny. The wife figures it out, and not too long after that these ridiculous thugs show up to off the nanny and hold their kid hostage. The only problem is that they end up icing the hot-ass mom upstairs and taking her kid hostage by mistake. Jesus, the FBI's raid on Little Bohemia wasn't this incompetent. It seems like a lucky break for the nanny though, until the kid she's in charge off starts running around the apartment like a little bastard and making all this racket and the thugs figure out that they fucked up. Remember the last episode of M*A*S*H where that little baby was squalling so his mom smothered him so Charlie wouldn't find them? That's really the only satisfying ending this lame movie could've had, but of course that doesn't happen. That's not the only thing that's wrong with it either: it's totally one of those stupid-ass flicks that only works if the phone lines are down and the car won't start and someone's husband is in Europe and the police are on strike and you can't see because there just happens to be a total eclipse right when everything's going down. Wouldn't it be easier to make a movie that's not so goddamned complicated? When you have to have this many excuses just for there to be a movie in the first place I've got news for you: it's a shitty idea for a movie. Final breakdown: three hot chicks, two plot twists, one obnoxious kid who deserves to die but doesn't, zero tits. Weak.
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YOU don't have to PUT UP with the HIP.
