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Back to the Planet of the Apes

(1981)

For like the third or fourth time, a couple of astronauts come cruising along, crash, and get trapped on the fucking planet of the apes. I'm not exactly sure where all these astronauts are coming from, but you'd think wherever the fuck it is someone back there would start looking into that. Anyway, these two kind of reminded me of Coy & Vance, and if you remember who they are, you probably know Boss Hogg's brother's name too, which proves you watched too much TV as a kid and explains why you never get laid.* So anyway, these guys run around for a while getting chased by the apes until one of them gets trapped with an ape in an old subway tunnel or something and everybody learns a valuable lesson about working together, even though we all know they'll forget all about it and be fighting again by the time the next movie comes out. All told this flick isn't too bad, but like most of the planet of the apes movies it sure could've used some tits. Then again, there's a good chance they'd be ape tits, so nevermind.

*It's "Abraham Lincoln Hogg". And fuck you.