Video Picks for Perverts
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THE WORLD OF MR. SATANISM VS.
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(1987)
They made lots of surf movies in the 1960s, and most of them starred a guy called "The Big Kahuna" and this chick who used to be on the Mickey Mouse Show or something and was just so sweet and innocent that you couldn't help but want to blow a load all over her face. Most of them sucked too, but no matter how bad something is once it gets old there are always people who suddenly decide it's the greatest, so in 1987 they brought everybody back to make another one. The 1980s seem as retarded now as the 1960s did then, which means that this movie should be retarded to the second power, but it's actually okay because it's fun to see all the people in it who were actually popular in the 1980s but later got busted for jerking off in public or brutally murdering their ex-wife. It's the feel-good movie of the year. It starts when the Big Kahuna and his wife (the Mickey Mouse girl) go to the beach to visit their daughter. The Kuhuna flips out because she's shacked up with some guy, and later when the Kahuna's half in the bag he macks on his ex-girlfriend so his wife gets mad at him, too. Pretty soon everybody's fighting with everybody, so the Kahuna decides that the best way to fix everything is to have a huge party on the beach, which is actually pretty damn good thinking on his part. I think he even supplied some drugs, because in one part Pee Wee Herman shows up on a flying surfboard and sings a song and there's no way people are seeing shit like just because they drank a few piña coladas. Everybody makes up and it looks like everything is all wrapped up in a neat little package, and in less time than usual, but then these punk rockers crash the party and challenge the good guys to a surf-off. (The punks mostly look like tougher versions of Loverboy, but you can tell they're hard core because in one part they're listening to that song the punk plays on the bus in Star Trek IV.) It all sounds retarded, but there's a few funny parts, plus the Kahuna's daughter is hot and even his wife is still tappable which is pretty impressive at her age (she's at least 30). Nobody shoots a load in either of their faces though.
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YOU don't have to PUT UP with the HIP.
