Bandit Goes Country

Holy bastard shit, this is, seriously, Smokey and the Bandit 4. I can't believe this movie even exists. It's like you went back in a time machine set to "Sheriff Lobo": there's cops crashing their cars into each other, bar fights, bad country music, tons of mediocre pussy in tight shorts, moonshine, and it even has that country singer who stutters in it. (Has anyone even gotten a letter from this guy since like 1979? I guess I shouldn't make fun of him, though- he can barely fucking talk and he's still the best one in this stupid movie.) The Bandit (for some reason he's a metrosexual now) and his moronic sidekick (it's not actually Buddy from Charles in Charge, but it might as well be) try to win the love of Jessie from Saved by the Bell, steal this bear statue from some other idiots, and get chased around by the FBI because the Bandit's cousin is bootlegging music*. In the end everything works out just fine for almost everyone, except the Bandit's cock because Jessie tells him to go fuck himself, and of course us because they actually made three more of these. (That's right, there's a fucking Smokey and the Bandit 7, and if that doesn't make you stop believing in God, nothing will.) The weirdest thing about this is that they somehow found a way to make it worse than just about any of the shows and movies that came out back when this hayseed shit was actually popular, and I'm including Smokey and the Bandit 3 and the season with Coy & Vance when I say that. Shouldn't even redneck humor be more sophisticated like 15 years later? Jessie's legs are pretty much the only good thing about this flick, but you can see those in Showgirls, a movie that actually has tits in it.

* They were bootlegging music in one of those Dukes of Hazzard reunion movies too. I guess it was the good ol' boy crime of choice in the 1990s, like setting up a meth lab is today.

All original material on this site Copyright 1995-2008 Inept Concepts/Mr. Satanism. All rights reserved. Other materials posted for archival or referential purposes are copyrighted by their respective owners; their use here does not constitute a challenge of said copyright. By moving your lips while you read this, you waived me of all legal responsibilities into perpetuity. Please do not copy original text or images, in whole or in part, without written permission. My lawyer thinks like Darrow and dresses like McBeal, so she will win. Now buy some merchandise, you little bitch.