Video Picks for Perverts
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THE WORLD OF MR. SATANISM VS.
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(2006)
If you ever read Pliny the Elder or the Dungeons & Dragons Monster Manual you know that a "basilisk" is a snake that can turn people to stone. Well, in this crappy movie they find one and naturally it goes berserk and starts killing everybody. It turns out the only thing that can stop it is Serpentor's staff, but unfortunately some twat stole that so now everyone's fucked. Pretty much everything about this sucks: the monster is a cartoon, the gore is all cartoons, most of the chicks are mediocre, none of them get naked, nothing cool or interesting happens... The one part that could've rocked is when the monster finds its way into a shopping mall; a monster rampaging through a mall should be awesome, but all it destroys is one table and a potted plant! I did more damage to the mall last time I went there drunk. And what's with the two people who trick the basilisk by pretending to be department store mannequins? I guess this part is supposed to be funny, but for my money it would've been a lot funnier if the basilisk ate both of those stupid assholes. Too bad basilisks apparently can't smell; I guess that huge nose is just there for ornamentation, like with Jewish chicks. There was one cool part where a guy is using liquid nitrogen or something on the monster when someone accidentally shoots a hole in the tank so he flies through the air, smashes into a building, gets covered with the shit, freezes, and shatters into a million pieces, but since the whole thing is another cartoon effect it's more cool in theory than in like actual practice. You have to take what you can get from these shitty Sci-Fi Channel movies though.
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YOU don't have to PUT UP with the HIP.
