Batman

I knew there wouldn't be any nudity or gore in this movie, but I watched it anyway because Catwoman's in it and if you don't want to fuck Catwoman you're either gay, a really uptight chick, or dead*. It's a proven fact that pretty much any chick can dress as Catwoman and go up at least three points on a scale of 1 to 10; you fat chicks might want to make a note of that- it's your gateway to being an instant 2.

Anyway, in this movie Batman and that queer little creep Robin** have to fight the Joker, Catwoman, that guy who says you can get free money from the government to pay your bills, and the Penguin. Along the way Batman lies to the press, lets a porpoise take a torpedo meant for him, endangers innocent bystanders with a bomb, and even pretends not to get a super-obvious clue so he can justify trying to get into Catwoman's pants (okay, I guess I can't blame him for that last one). Robin says everyone who drinks booze deserves to die, but then he pops a pill Batman gives him without even asking what it is. Fucking hypocrite junkie. In the end they totally fuck up and just sneak off before anyone can call them on it. I don't know what the hell kind of superheroes they're supposed to be, but I'm just gonna let all that slide because it's still the least-stupid Batman movie, and there's no way I'll badmouth any flick with Catwoman in it.

If only we had seen her tits...

* Unless you're talking about the black Catwoman from the 1960s. That broad's nasty.

** They really need to make a Batman movie where Robin's a chick- that outfit would look awesome on some little 15-year-old hottie.

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