Beyond the Bermuda Triangle

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Beyond the Bermuda Triangle

(1975)

Ha ha! Playboy made this movie! There's no tits though, which is too bad because Kimberly from Diff'rent Strokes is in it, although she's only about 10 so forget I just said that. Anyway, all these people keep disappearing in the Bermuda Triangle, but nobody seems too interested in doing much about it except Kimberly, who goes looking for them but ends up in the Everglades. Well, that's an A for effort anyway, kid. Later though the main guy's girlfriend disappears, and he's not standing for it. We already know this guy's cool; besides being like twenty years older than his girl, in one part he has this conversation:

Main Guy: "It's the weekend- we'll have a drink before lunch."
Other Cat: "Harry, it's Tuesday."
Main Guy: "Well that's close enough."

The main guy decides there must be a "space-time warp" out there ("...if you want to get halfway scientific about it," he says. Ha! Duh.), so in the not-exciting climax he takes his boat into the Triangle to find it. Old dudes just can't let it go when they get a taste of some young pussy, can they? Now I'm all for this guy sailing into some alternate dimension in his quest for ass if that's what he really wants to do, but I think it's a bit irresponsible of him when he lets this other broad just tag along. What's he gonna do if he actually finds a time warp or something? Take her with him? His only other choice would be throwing her overboard before he sails into it. Way to think ahead, you senile old fart. I suppose it's not his fault though; all those Tuesday morning toots probably addled his brain.

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