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The Birds II: Land's End

(1994)

A guy takes his annoying family (they suck) to this island to relax, but he ends up even more stressed out because his ugly wife's boss keeps making the moves on her (must not be much pussy on this island), plus birds are coming from all over the world to attack everybody. There are already a shitload of birds on the island, so I don't know why more need to come from Brazil or wherever- if they're pissed off too, why don't they just attack people over there and our birds can attack us over here? Maybe it's some sort of bird exchange program. Anyway, the main guy and this old coot who has it all figured out* try to get the mayor to help, but he's afraid the tourists and fisherdudes will freak out if anyone says there's a killer shark, I mean killer birds, so he won't do shit. The main guy decides to board up his place, makes sure his family stays inside at night (because birds don't come out during the daytime), and keeps a fire going so that birds can't fly down the chimney (I guess he doesn’t know how to work a flue). In the end the birds finally attack everybody and the main guy and his family take off in a boat, but then it turns out the birds are heading to like the mainland to get everybody there too, so they're all dead meat anyway unless they can find a place that doesn't have any birds. They should try the mall. There's no birds at the mall.

* I like how the old coots who have it all figured out in these movies always end up getting killed anyway. Morons.


 

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