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Blessed

(2004)

This starts with a pregnant chick drinking wine. I figured that was pretty irresponsible of her and shit, but then she takes a swan dive off a 40-story balcony so I guess fetal alcohol syndrome is the least of that kid's worries.

Anyway, next we meet this teacher who's one of those chicks who's so boring and unimaginative that she can't think of anything to do with her life but lay on her back, spread her legs, and breed. Apparently her hubby's boys aren't up to the job though, so they end up going to this clinic to get things rolling. The clinic is out in the middle of fucking nowhere, so right away you know that they're putting aliens in people or impregnating broads with Hitler's babies or some crazy shit. This time around it's clones of the Devil or something and the chick ends up having two little girls who are so goddamn fucking ugly you don't even have to be paying attention to the plot to know they're the spawn of Satan. This is totally boring until like the last ten minutes when everything finally pops off and crazy priests are driving through cloning clinics and stuff's on fire and kid's faces are rotting off, but trust me that last ten minutes isn't worth it. A better movie would be about a chick who finds out she's going to have the Devil's baby, but she's not allowed to do anything about it because she lives in South Dakota.