Video Picks for Perverts
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THE WORLD OF MR. SATANISM VS.
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(1973)
All the main people in this movie are black, so that means it's either "blaxploitation" or "an important black film", depending on how many honkies get iced before it's all over. It's about this professor dude who hires a crazy assistant who stabs him with like this ancient knife, then shoots himself. Except instead of killing the professor the knife turns him into a vampire. At first the professor just steals blood from blood banks and shit, but he does kill this cute hooker and her pimp (nice purple derby, idiot- I swear, sometimes I think black people are colorblind). After a while the assistant's wife comes looking for him because she needs some bread, and since she's a total bitch and tells weird stories about people shoving weed up their ass of course the professor falls in love with her. When she finally finds her hubby's body in the freezer all she does is throw a bit of a hissy-fit, so the professor knows he's in like Flynn and makes her a vampire too. There's a lot of talking and being philosophical or whatever in this flick, but it has afros, soul music (about vampires), pimps, and all that shit, too, so basically it's a super-pretentious version of Blacula, which is like mixing a Mouton Rothschild 1945 with Nestle Quik. Sorry, idiots who made this movie, but those are two things that don't taste great together. At least we get to see the vampire chick's tits.
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YOU don't have to PUT UP with the HIP.
