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Bog Creatures

(2003)

Way in the past, all these chicks and evil Vikings get wasted and thrown in a bog, and when regular times come around these college students dig them up for a class and they come to life as zombies. The chick zombies are actually friendly, but all the Viking ones want to hack people up with swords. At this point, you have a pretty good idea for a movie: zombies with swords; but these guys totally fucked the whole thing up, and here's how:

First, there's the chick professor with glasses who sends the college students into the bog. She actually comes to the bog later, too, so she's like this important character. She's hot, but we never see her naked. That's strike one.

Besides the chick in glasses, the other chicks are all cute too, and none of them gets naked, either. Strike two.

Third, there's this part where they find this other cute chick who's in shock. One of the college chicks gets a wet rag and cleans her up, while this pervo panty-sniffer watches through the window. This could have turned into this big naked rub-down/dyke scene, but it didn't. Strike three.

Next, there's a chick knife fight at the end, but it's super lame and only lasts for like two seconds. Strike four.

And finally, there's all the zombies with swords; they kill some people but it's not bloody at all and totally weak. So that's strike five and you don't even get five strikes if you're a girl and just got out of the hospital. Suck my balls, Bog Creatures.