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Breeders

(1998)

I don't know how this movie manages to be so boring; it's got tits, full frontal, a pretty cool alien with a hankerin' for Earth poontang, and plenty of people get wasted, but for some reason it feels like it's a million hours long and nothing is happening. The worst though is the main guy: he's a professor at the local gash college where the alien's creeping around and it even attacks him in one part, but later when co-eds start disappearing he just makes jokes about it. Of course he probably sympathizes with the alien: he's banging one of his students; he leers at every broad in sight (except the one who's actually interested, probably because she's too old for him i.e. over 19); and he even hassles the alien's human sidechick (she's like the alien equivalent of a fag hag) on the street the first time he sees her. Then there's the part where his girl leaves her panties at his place, so he smells them. He's a total creep and if it came down to it I think I'd rather have my daughter bring home the alien. Even worse, when the alien possesses a bunch of chicks the professor finds out that you can unpossess them by taking off the glowing necklaces they're wearing, but instead of doing that he just blows them all away with a pump action! Getting raped by an alien probably sucks, but it sure beats getting murdered by some panty-sniffing pervert douchebag for absolutely no reason. Seriously, this guy is a complete piece of shit; it would've been a way better movie if at some point the alien had raped him.