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Bright Lights, Big City

(1988)

Michael "Gay" Fox (heh) is upset because his hot-ass wife hit the road, so he decides to get addicted to coke. Even when he's partying at clubs he's still dressed like Alex P. Keaton though, so this is a lot more fun if you pretend you're watching a very special Family Ties where Alex gets hooked on blow and learns a valuable lesson. That doesn't sound very entertaining, but it sure beats an episode where the little sister - Tina Yonkers or whatever her name was - gets caught up in a child pornography ring or something. Jesus, just thinking about that chick naked makes me want to throw up in my mouth.

When Alex isn't crying like a bitch or getting wasted he's at work, and for some reason they show him there a lot, doing exciting stuff like making phone calls and looking crap up in books. Wow. That's some hard-hitting shit, but maybe they could've left those parts out and shown more scenes of chicks making out with each other in the bathroom? Just a thought. Anyway, he ends up getting fired and it seems like that's gonna be the start of all the lame shit where he bottoms out or whatever, but the next thing you know he's letting a coked-up ferret loose in the office and it's running around creating havoc like in a Three Stooges movie or something. What the hell? In the end Michael J. Fox tells his best friend to fuck off and it's supposed to be like he learned his big lesson or whatever, but I'm a little confused because as far as I could tell this cat had his back every step of the way. I don't know what Michael J. Fox's problem with the guy is. I guess he's just a cocksucker.