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Bruce Lee: His Last Days

(1976)

Okay, everyone knows Bruce Lee was assassinated by ninja ghosts, but apparently this movie is part of the cover-up because they never even mention it. Instead, it's about this mediocre chick and her crummy life: nobody likes her, this creep slips her a mickey and takes naked pictures of her, candles talk to her, and even when she flees the country the joker she's avoiding comes after her. One day Bruce Lee happens along while a couple of guys are punching her in the stomach, so he kicks their asses, throws some bread at her, and then just drives off and leaves her laying in the middle of the street. It's that perfect balance between being a hero and being a total cock that no chick can resist, and later when she finds out he has a wife that clinches it. Eventually he mu shu porks her, and there are a few random kung fu fights, but mostly it's just this dumb twat manufacturing drama, gambling too much, and constantly whining that everyone just sees her as a "sex bomb", which is pretty delusional on her part but I guess there's no such thing as a "no great shakes bomb". If you want to watch Kung Fu Theater and your wife wants to watch Lifetime this might be a good compromise, but other then that I'd give it a pass.