Home

Buried Alive II

(1997)

This time it's a dude who wants to get rid his wife, not that you can blame him: she's ugly, she stupid, she's annoying, and she was in Short Circuit. Plus he already has some primo ass on the side, and you don't keep a girl like that waiting. Unfortunately for him, there's some more of those crazy circumstances so the wife survives and decides to get revenge. It's basically the exact same movie as Part 1, except ten times dumber, and they throw in an extra helping of stupid when they actually have the guy from Part 1 show up! Apparently he's decided to wander the land, helping down-on-their-luck people who have been given pufferfish poison. He's like a really narrowly-focused A-Team. And I know the wife is supposed to be the good guy, but it's kind of hard to root for her when the evil chick is so much hotter. Sorry ladies, but that's the way the world works; if you don't like it, hit the gym. Anyway, nothing new happens, the hot chick never shows her tits, and the chick from Short Circuit should've quit while she was ahead - which was probably sometime in the late 1980s - so this movie pretty much bites.