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The Burning

(1981)

I had a problem with this once (thanks a lot Angel, you fucking whore), but this movie is about a completely different type of burning. It starts when these kids decide to stick it to some old coot by putting a skull candle in his room. (That'll show him. I guess.) Unfortunately, he just happens to keep a big can of gasoline right next to his bed (in drug counseling this is known as "the first sign of a problem"), so when the candle gets knocked over he goes up like a kerosene-soaked wino. Since he's got like tenth-degree burns over 125% of his body his career choices are pretty much limited to "cautionary example" and "slasher", so he decides to go with the latter, follows some campers who are on a canoe trip, strands them by setting their canoes loose (they can't just walk back, see, because they're in the woods), and then starts killing the shit out of them. There's plenty of stupidity on hand (Like when they build the raft- where the fuck did they find all that lumber out in the middle of nowhere? It doesn't just grow on trees you know.), but once things get rolling it's gory as hell, we see some superior rackage early on, and there's some full frontal later, so ultimately it still manages to rock.