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The Calm

(2007)

Okay, there's a difference between being calm and being boring, and this movie goes so far over that line that if it was a border dispute it would cause like an international incident. It starts with this guy eating a TV dinner and brushing his teeth... for like 8 fucking minutes! The movie's only 23 minutes long! I guess this is supposed to be the "calm" part. Then the goddamn Predator shows up in his living room and whacks him. The Terminator pops up next and naturally they attack each other, but don't get too excited because it's closer to a slap-fest then a real fight. In fact, it's so lame I'll bet this was one of those situations where somebody's wife was like "Fine, you can make your little movie here- but don't break anything and don't track any mud on the carpet!" Plus the Terminator is pathetic- he looks like he has Bell's palsy:

Some alpha nerd somewhere is probably spooging all over himself just thinking about this (besides the one who made it, I mean), but it's not 1988 anymore and I'm pretty sure most normal people have had their fill of this Predator vs. RoboCop vs. Aliens vs. Terminator bullshit. They should make one last movie where they all duke it out in the Matrix and then just give it a fucking rest already.