Video Picks for Perverts
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THE WORLD OF MR. SATANISM VS.
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(2001)
These movies where there's a bunch of different stories are a good idea for people who aren't very good at making movies, because if even one of the stories is solid people will remember the whole thing as being pretty decent. So it's like you get three or four chances to get it right. This time though they fucked the whole thing up. These two idiots almost run over a chick and go off the road and get a flat tire. They don't have a spare so they all go into the woods to get help. Why not just follow the road, dipshits? Anyway, that ends up being a bad idea because Buster Poindexter is in the woods, and he forces them to listen to these shitty stories and watch him act like a complete fucking moron. The first story is about these jocks who are totally evil, because all jocks in movies are evil. When you see a guy in a football uniform in a movie, that's just like seeing dudes dressed as Nazis. It's a cinematic shortcut. Anyway, the evil jocks beat up this crazy old groundskeeper, so he kills them. That's the whole story. They obviously didn't even try with this one. In the next story, this dork who looks like Bryan Adams, his fat friend, and a cute chick all murder some old Indian dude so they can rob him and smoke all his weed. But he's a movie Indian, so you know before he dies he'll spend a lot of time talking about "Father Sky" and his "ancestors" and you damn well know he has magical powers. So naturally he comes back to life and gets revenge. After the story Buster says "You see- right when you think you got life by the balls, you try to kill an Indian and he steals the life right outta ya." I guess that's supposed to be the message of the story, even though I don't see how it would apply to day-to-day life. The chick was totally squandered by the way: they should have shown that one topless, at the very least. Obviously the last story is the only one that has any chance, and things look promising at first. These two hot chicks dress all sexy and start playing "Truth or Dare" with their boyfriends, and we all know how that usually turns out. Plus there's a killer. But it ends up being seriously lame- there's no nudity, hardly any blood, and when the two chicks kiss in one part they don't even show it! Fucking weak. So now Buster Poindexter is finally through boring these three kids (and us) and a tow truck comes. The tow truck takes them to a Misfits concert (I'm not kidding) and everyone from the stories is there and they all kill the kids. The end. That's just about the stupidest ending I've seen in a long time (and I saw A.I.), and it just goes to show how gay and lame the Misfits are now that they would even be in a pathetic piece of crap like this.
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YOU don't have to PUT UP with the HIP.
