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Centipede Horror

(1982)

This chick wants to go to Southeast Asia, but everybody gets all riled up about it like it's a big deal or something. She goes anyway and gets killed by poisonous centipedes, so I guess they were right. Is that like a big problem over there or something? How come I never heard about this before?

The chick's brother wants to figure out what went down (he doesn't know about the centipedes), so he does some investigating and finally ends up talking to this magician who cures sick people. One person he cures is a naked chick, and when he does his spell she pukes up blood and live scorpions. I'm not sure what was wrong with her in the first place, but I'm sorry- it can't be as bad as throwing up live scorpions. If that was my only option I think I'd just take an Advil and tough it out. Fuck that shit.

The brother finally finds out that an evil wizard cast a spell on his sister. A couple of good wizards try to help him out, but the evil guy just drops a statue on one wizard's head and sics more poisonous centipedes on the other one. The evil wizard also possesses the brother's best friend,* which is both good and bad. Good, because she starts dressing like a new wave hottie and throwing it out, but bad because she tries to kill him. In the end there's a huge magic fight with ghost chickens, a snake busting out of a guy's head, and the hottie barfing up centipedes (after she's done her friend goes "Let me get you a glass of water"). You really gotta give the Asians credit: their cars run forever, their chicks are hot as hell, and they sure can make some kickass movies.

*Just for the record, this chick has a terrific ass.