Home

Left Column Ad Space

Child of Satan

(1976)

Indiana's Jones' boss decides that maybe it wasn't such a keen idea to turn his hot-as-balls daughter over to a satanic cult, so he asks this writer to save her. The writer guy gets her away from the Satanists, but she wants to go back because she's brainwashed or whatever so he has to slap her around a bit and lock her up. (If it was me I would've fucked her too- you know, for the Lord.) The Satanists try to get her back with magic, and when that doesn't work the main cult dude just calls the writer guy on the phone and asks for her really nicely (well, he sort of threatens him, but he's a limey so he's still fairly polite and shit). What I don't understand is: since the writer is holding the daughter against her will, and the Satanists know where she is, why don't they just call the police? Devil worshippers have rights too, you know. Irregardless, later the writer goes to do like some research to find out what the bad guy's major malfunction is, and while he's gone the daughter escapes so now he has to track her down before it's too late. At first this movie was kind of boring because nothing gory or naked was happening, but in the end the daughter flaunts it all with some full-frontal so it's definitely worth it. She's pretty fine.