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The Chooper

(1971)

This ugly, skinny guy who takes care of a "ranch" keeps yelling "The Chooper's gonna GET you!" whenever anyone tries to go into this dilapidated shack. The guy has a cowboy hat but apparently can't afford to buy any shirts, and they keep filming him with the sun behind him, so he ends up looking like Shane on heroin. A woman who says things like "They dug me, and I dug them" inherits the "ranch", and she narrates most of the movie because there isn't any sound. Everybody goes to the rodeo about a hundred times, and meanwhile the "Chooper" kills some people, my favorite being the hippie chick who's in her underwear. (Incidentally, the Chooper is supposed to be this Indian spirit or something, but it's just some dude in black pajamas with a sword.) Finally, someone shoots the Chooper and it turns out he was really the neighbor in disguise, which isn't exactly a shocker since he's the only other character in the movie. The theme song goes "Well here I am, baby I'm the Chooper man..." Watch this if you need a reason to kill yourself.