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A Christmas Carol

(1984)

Everybody knows this story- they've made it like a million times, and any TV show that's on for more than one season always has to have an episode that rips it off because people who write for TV are as lazy as they fucking come. Just like always, Uncle Scrooge (for some reason he's a person instead of a duck in this version) is a dick to his nephew and the drip who works for him, and doesn't care about Christmas. Everyone else meanwhile is so into it that they border on being deranged. Seriously, when was the last time you invited someone over for holiday dinner and when they said no you gave them like a five minute speech about Christmas? Jesus. Of course on Christmas night the Ghosts of Christmas Past, Christmas Presents, and Christmas Future barge in and give Scrooge the business: the first one takes him back in time and shows him his old family,* the next ghost (who looks like a cross-dressing lumberjack) shows him how much he pisses everybody off, and finally the GoCF brings it all home by showing Scrooge his own grave. Of course that last bit is what really does the trick- they should've just sent Xmas Future in first and the other two could've taken the night off and grabbed a beer or something.

There's one thing I never understood about this story: there's plenty of people who are dicks and/or don't like Christmas, so why'd they single this cat out? Or does this eventually happen to everybody? They should make a version where the ghosts run some clown through the wringer but then it turns out he doesn't like Christmas because he's a Jew. That'd be hilarious.

*His sister's pretty fine- I wouldn't mind getting into her Christmas stockings.