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Claws

(1977)

This killer bear is fucking people up left & right,* but the two main dudes in the movie take their sweet time going after him because they're too busy having flashbacks. That would be okay if the flashbacks were important, but mostly it's just them remembering times when they talked to this pug-ugly bitch they're both in love with. One of the dudes is her ex-husband, and the flashback where she runs through this field of flowers and jumps into his arms just about made me puke (because she's so ugly, I mean). I know this movie happens in Alaska and supposedly there aren't a lot of broads up there, but I can't see being so hard up that you would be fighting over a chick this hideous. I'd rather fuck the bear. Anyway, a bunch of clowns go looking for the bear and he kills pretty much all of them until the last guy standing shoots him with a flare gun. Then they set a bear statue or something on fire, and push it over a cliff. It's fucking hysterical. Too bad the rest of this movie blows.

*The best is when he chomps this little kid in a sleeping bag- it's like the grizzly bear version of a chicken burrito!